;D I'm kinda early, but it's so long that if I write any more it'll be WAY too long and... ._. Knu does not want this.
Webpage of the Week: Twitter
Because I have a new obsession. Help. Me. ._.
Song of the Week: Meet Virginia
I meant to put this up a while ago, but I guess I got distracted. o.o;
Video of the Week: Britt's Song
Um.. It's the song I really want you to watch. Watch, I mean it. Like, her expressions make it even better. XD I.. I died a little..
Picture of the Week:
I enjoy his jokes... And this picture. Much enjoyment. Yus. I love that joke... :'D Aaah....
Quotes of the Week: "I'm magical. Like a gay priest in a nursing home. 'Cause everyone turns gay when they go to nursing homes. Duh.'' -Sunny (It really has nothing to do with anything. I love randomness... XD )
"I'M GUNNA BE WITH YOU FOREVER!" -Britt's song
''No, no, no. I have to convince myself out of this. Even if it's what I want, I have to make myself believe it's not.'' ''But do you realize how you're harming yourself in the long run?'' ''I'll be fine.'' ''That's called denial. Get ahold of yourself.''
"11:11 All I can see in my eyes is the city."
''I want some jello...''
''That means that sheep can survive on the moon.''
''Seriously, guys. I want some jello.''
''....onion. Onion in a can.''
"What do you think would happen if you put a toaster in a microwave and turned it on for twenty minutes?"
"A horse ate Alex's leg before he was born..We just found out today and we're having a hard time dealing with it."
''Oh, that's cool then. Do I get to meet your siblin--'' ''NO!!!!''
''Did he alive?''
''I'm against that.''
''Defriended. DEFRIENDED!!''
"''Page 394.'' Snape, that last one just didn't make sense and was not needed at all."
''What time is it!?'' ''It's HaHa Now You're Poor time!!!''
"Movie Harry Potter is very moody compared to book HP. He keeps shoving people and now he's crying a lot. Now he yelled. Ok, now he's angry."
And that's it. That's a loooong list of quotes. XD I enjoy them...
Monday was a vacation day. Woo! >D
Sunny was over at my house a lot and we started watching this show called Criminal Minds and then I played a game. Yeah. And like... I felt awesome that day.
Tuesday was horribly amusing. I stayed up late the night before because I thought we were giving our laptops back the next day so I was transferring things onto my computer in my room. I was up until like... 1:30 in the morning. I should have started earlier, but now I know that we didn't even have to until next Tuesday. =A=
I was tired, I'd been laughing about everything all morning. It was very amusing. I kept laughing at the word "Onion." Seriously. That's a funny. word.
And I kept saying "I want jello...."
Don't you want jello now!?
I bet you do.
But I want to talk about the dream I had that previous night, though I'll leave out some weird details.
There was a dance at the school, and for some reason I really wanted a new dress for it and I was upset because I couldn't get one. (I really don't care about those things.) My mom had some friends over and I was in my dress. I told my mom that I needed to take a shower because for some reason one of her friends was using our shower, so I had to wait. Her friends were all around me, for some reason, and everyone seemed to be paying close attention to me. One of her friends was like "Can you help me out?" and explained she wanted revenge on someone. We somehow were in a supermarket, then, and we were near the food you can like... scoop into containers and buy. Well, she scooped it onto the back of my neck and shoulders. It was like.. weird cheese cake or pasta or something weird like that. I was horrified because I hadn't said yes and everyone was like "That wasn't something you should have done" and stuff to the girl. I can't really remember what happened after that, but I ended up having to walk somewhere (either to the dance, or to get a new dress - I can't remember) and I saw this dog. It was very sad, and I... understood, I guess I could say. It was weird. But it was a dog kinda like this one, so I was terrified. It then got really angry and jumped at me, and I tried to shield my face with my arms like... one on my forehead and the other near my mouth, which was a horrible idea because he could still get to my face that way. Then he bit my arm and I flung him off and fell to the floor, where I tried to go into fetal position so I would maybe get less damaged - then I woke up. :| I have strange dreams. That dog freaks me out.
Wednesday was all worky and stuff. I did a project all night, then I went to a concert thingy. Then I came back and finished the project thing. Yep.
I've been thinking... I kinda noticed recently that I really, really like helping people. If someone needs me, I'm almost always right there to help them. Honestly, I've walked to Boonie's in the middle of the night just because he really needed someone to talk to. I've stayed up all night talking to Chelsea or Sunny or many other people because they needed my advice or many other things...
And I've been wondering about karma. I'm not a horrible person.. I mean, I even get angry at myself if I think the tiniest mean thing about someone else. And I mean REALLY angry at myself. If I had a list of the people I scolded the most, I'd be at the top of that list with my name bolded, underlined, and in red. I'm really hard on myself all the time. I can't help it, though. I can't just change that.
You know how that would work? I'd be like "Ok, so I'm going to try to think nice things about myself."
Later something would happen and I would think something like "Well, that was stupid. You're a moron. You deserve to have your head smashed in. No, no, no, no! Don't think like that, you idiot. You promised you wouldn't. You liar, maybe you really SHOULD have your head smashed in."
And so on. My mind works like that. The weird thing is that I really don't think like that about anyone else at all. I have a set image for myself. I want to fit that image. If I don't, then I won't like myself. It's important that I do, otherwise I'm just going to be a horribly depressing and stupid person that really DOES deserve to have her head smashed in.
But as I stand now, I think I just deserve hugs and smiles. Because that's what I give.
Wait, I was talking about karma. Yeah, where's my good karma? I was thinking.. I was a sweet little kid, what horrible thing did I do that caused karma to say "You know what... no daddy for you. Also, your brothers are going to hate you for at least ten years. Good luck with that, kid. Oh, and your mom really isn't going to pay much attention to any of you, either." I'm confused by this. And now? Yes, I had a bad month or so, but it wasn't because there was anything wrong with my life - WHICH IS SO STUPID! It was just because of a stupid chemical imbalance in my body that caused me to be all depressed and anti-social and uncreative. I sat down the other day and just jotted down 6 skits all at once. None of them were in my head beforehand. And I'm hanging out with people all the time now, too. Or, whenever I can. Stupid rain...
But unfortunately, what's going on with me now can't be fixed with medication because there's nothing wrong with me. All that's going to fix it is communication and time. And NOT getting angry at anyone. Even myself. Actually, especially myself. Because if I get angry at myself (which I admit that I've been doing a LOT) I end up wanting to (or actually) hitting myself and just being a total wreck.
Also, though it's not as constant as it used to be, I have these odd moments where I feel like nothing exists. If you haven't ever felt like this, it's really not something I can describe. But it's scary as hell and I usually just call myself stupid and make myself not think about it and it goes away. Hopefully this'll just stop. It's really, really frightening. ._. I'm serious. I hope I'm the only one who's felt like that.
Wow, that was a weird rant. Anyway, karma, I'm waiting for you to be nice to me~ Meanie..
I'll make you cookies? And cupcakes? Hm? Please? I'll draw you a purty picture?
I drew a cute chibi today..? Pleeeease??
Anywho... I think I should go. I've destroyed enough people's view on me by now.
~Knurvous E. Phreak
